Thursday, September 6, 2012

Ahh Another Day Another Battle

But I will win the war!!! And another thing, why is it that kids (especially teens) leave a path letting you know everywhere they've been in your house???! I know for a fact that my 18 year old son went to King Soopers, (bag left on the table with receipt inside) bought a Pepperoni Tombstone Pizza, (half-eaten disgusting dried up greasy crust nibbles on a plate NEAR the sink) decided to watch a movie, (DVD/DVR left on ALL NIGHT) got super tired and headed to bed in a sleep induced rush (Van's left at the bottom of the stairs just waiting for my precious ankles to meet them in a not so gentle way!!!)

Ahhh, the joys of parenting and expecting things to be... well, orderly? Nah, just doesn't happen after that last push at the hospital. Oh well, gotta love em! ;)

Now, to "infinity and beyond!" I am livin the dream this morning. Yesterday, I started off great I tell ya! I got up and juiced (Kale, Celery, Cucumber, Green Apple, Lemon and a tiny bit of Ginger), met a friend for lunch and had a Greek Salad (Romaine, Tomato, Capers, Cucumber, Red Onion, Kalamata Olives, and about 2 teaspoons of Vegan Greek Vinaigrette)! Ahh, life was perfect! Not a cloud in the sky, not even a misplaced bunny in the street!

Then it happened. (Insert really scary Psycho music here.) With my kids in mind, I will add. I. Stopped. At. The. Mongolian. BBQ. Restaurant. Down. The. Street. Sigh. And my evening went straight to... Well, you know how it goes: "Oh, the kids would love 'Scallion Pancakes' and since I'm right down the street from the place that they love, I'll just grab THEM an order!" Being such a great mom I was!!!

Hostess: "May I help you?"

Me: "Yes, I'll take an order of Scallion Pancakes, please."

Hostess: "Will that be all?"

Me: (Brain spinning and whirling and doing USA Gold flips...)

"Umm, uh, I'll just take a quick peek at the menu, please."

Hostess: "No problem!" (Ding, ding, ding... Sweet, I'm getting my sales up today, and so easy!!!)

Me: (Thoughts in my head: Well I am "charging" the pancakes, I know people HATE it when you only charge a few dollars on a credit card... I'll just be generous and get a COUPLE of orders... AND some rice cakes!!!)

"I'll take TWO orders of Scallion Pancakes and TEN rice cakes, please." (Sigh. There. I did it. I ordered some for me for... later. I know I shouldn't have all that grease that these things are fried in... but they're so darn good... and Colin (my husband) is out of town, so I'm sure I wont eat as much tonight since he's gone. I probably won't even need to cook. But then again I do have THREE kids, who'd probably like to eat more than these Scallion Pancakes... hmmm. I'll just eat a few!)

Hostess: "It'll be a little while, would you like some hot tea while you wait?"

Me: ("Heck no, lady BRING ON MY DARN SCALLION PANCAKES!!! I'VE FREAKIN RESOLVED TO EATING THEM AND I WANT THEM NOW!!!")
So then I really just said, "yes please." In the smallest voice I could muster ...

And the night went: drive home, eat a pancake. Pull into Safeway to get some toiletries, eat a pancake. Unload the truck, eat a pancake. Hide ONE of the packages of pancakes, eat a pancake (from the package that I was "giving" to the kids, no less.) Get majorly nauseated. Eat a pancake. Feel nauseated again. Eat a pancake. Finally??? I handed the rest of the pancakes over to the greedy little people who live outside my room, AKA, my children. They were happy. I was miserable. They wanted to know why I "thought of them." I wanted to know why I did not. Sigh. And there you have it. My night in a pancake induced nausea with a heaping bowl of regret and green smelly poop this morning.

The moral of the story???! DON'T LIE ON YOUR KIDS! If you want something, EAT RESPONSIBLY.
Hey, at least they were Vegan. Just sayin, there's always a silver lining.

Have a FABULOUS DAY!!! You deserve it!!!

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