Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Hi There! It's Me Again...

Oh wow, it's been sooo long since I've posted. I missed this!

So much has happened. I am still striving for excellence, but I'm evolving. In my last post I think I spoke about the beginning of eating a little crazy-like. Still Vegan, but edging on Junk Food Veganism.

I've read a lot of books, and I've made a lot of jokes (some at my own expense and some from thinking about simple things like ... people falling and my small dogs running into walls from chasing food, etc... hey, I AM AN ANIMAL LOVER! Some things are just ... funny. Seriously...) but the real feelings I've been having and the struggles I am overcoming are no easy feat when trying to live "Vegan." So I want to sort of start over and say I am a sometimes Vegan. I want to make a healthy difference in my life and ultimately the lives of others, so it feels good to say (with my chest, (size double D and all) puffed out) "I AM VEGAN! HEAR ME ROAR!" But then I just ate some chicken, so I can't really say that out loud and all. Well, ok I can... but I'd be lying. Or making up some "other" form of Veganism. Kind of like people who say they are Vegetarians, but they eat fish. Huh? That just doesn't add up for me. Just sayin. In my world. A Vegetarian eats no meat. Animal products may be ok, but no fleshy stuff. Nothing that bleeds. You get the picture. Not passing judgment here, just saying, some things are clear, and some things are not.
That said. I don't think I should call myself a Vegan anymore (but it felt so good! The 5 months of chest puffing and roaring, ya know?)

So the story goes...

I woke up one day and my belly felt like I had swallowed a bowling ball prior to sleeping. My husband didn't like the smell I was emitting, so he was a little nauseated while we slept. Yes, I'm trying to be lady-like and say that I had gas. BAD gas. ALL THE TIME gas. And I felt awful. Almost as much of the time as I was gassy and bloat-bellied. I researched and I talked to people and I cried and I laid around feeling sorry for myself. Because I FAILED at being a Vegan. I was the ONLY ONE who was not Vegan and lovin' it! Move over McDonald's! Vegans are the real ones "Lovin' It!" Except I wasn't anymore. So sad.

Anyway, I decided I couldn't go on "pretending" to be happy with my Vegan lifestyle. So I talked to a nutritionist who promptly told me "A Vegan diet doesn't work for everyone. You may need to add a few animal products into your diet, such as an egg or meat or fish." I felt the Devil himself, old El Diablo was speaking through the mouth of this sweet little wonderful shell. What???! A VEGAN diet NOT BEING PERFECT!!! The books and articles I read warned me about such lies and propaganda! I knew better! Liars! The lot of these people who wanted me to "fall" and not stay Vegan!!! How dare they!!! My head spun around and foam began to oooze out of my mouth. My belly got bigger and I ... slowly walked away. I will remain a Vegan. I will do MORE research. I will talk to MORE Vegans. There has got to be something I can do better. I will not fail at this! I'm so committed now! And I shop at Whole Foods every Sunday! And I eat 85% organic foods! I'm sort-of perfect, right? (Picture me with wide eyes, an afro, holding my belly and scratching my head...)

Then I called her and scheduled an appointment to hear more. My belly sort of begged me to. And my husband wasn't too upset that I might end the bombs I was concealing under our covers at night while I slept.  

So am I still a Vegan?

I guess I must confess some things. I should have never really called myself a Vegan in the first place. The term "Vegan" carries such heavy weight to me. I drive around in a leather loaded SUV, which I love. I will eat honey sometimes if I want to. When I've been in a pinch, I didn't "ask" if the bread was made with milk. I LOVE watching movies and eating popcorn while sitting on my leather sectional. And damn it, some of those leather shoes are just freakin' cute! Whew. Glad I got that off my chest! Now, I can join the rest of the imperfect world and say... I am not perfect. I still don't "prefer" meat, but honestly I never did. It had much less to do with animals than it had to do with my preference. I still do not prefer cruelty, in any form. Animal or human. I am a lover of life and all that has been created, so I will still do my part to honor all humans, animals and insects alike. But I will eat meat on occasion. My belly is thankful. My husband is happier. I will now call myself a "Plant Based" eater. But only when I feel that I need a title. I still don't find myself eating dairy. It just makes me feel all stuffy and filled with phlegm. And I'm lactose intolerant, so why force it??! My diet consists mainly of vegetables, fruits, whole grains and some meats and fish a few times a week.

Now about the exercise thing....

Have a FABULOUS day!!!